I was well aware of how greedy it was to be affronted at such a thing, but I figured being self aware made it okay. I was seriously considering having a pull when I heard a banging at the door.I still had a hard on so I opened it just a crack to peer out, hoping that seeing a delivery man or whoever it was would shock me into a normal state. It was not a delivery man though. It was my roommate.Pepper's long blonde hair was all over the place and she had panda eyes. She also reeked of booze.'Bout fucking time.' she mumbled as she took a step through the door and would have fallen flat on her face if I hadn't caught her.She giggled and rolled around to face me. 'Heeey, Hunter! Shouldn't you be at class or screwing my best friend?''I do other things as well, ' I sniffed.'I be... ' she started to say. ' ... oh shit.' and with that, the ever charming Pepper vomited over the both of us.She at least had the decency to cover her mouth, but Malibu smelling spew flew everywhere. I was hit on. She says she understands what I talk about, but she can’t really. No one can. Sometimes, it’s like I will explode and all the pieces of me will fly apart to lay scattered on the ground. I don’t know where all this will end. I think I will end some day and then things will be peaceful again. ******** It’s been three months now…three months since Mark and I talked to Doctor Jamison in her office. I’m better now. I’m not afraid anymore when Doctor Jamison wants to put me into what she calls a light trance. She can do that very quickly now. She doesn’t snap her fingers or anything like that stuff you see on stage, but I can focus so much better now and she can ask anything she wants. I’m not embarrassed by anything she might dredge up anymore. She’s found so much and later, when she brings me out of it, she makes me discuss whatever she talks with me about when I’m under. Sometimes, when I just talk about it outside of deep relaxation, it goes away like it never was actually there to.
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